I called hospice to check on dad. He is running a fever of about 104 or better. His pulse is around 122. He is breathing between 23 and 29 times a minute.
A healthy person breathes about 15 times a minute. Before this he got now to as few as 8 breaths a minute. I think that Dad’s time is close.
One of the things that I have learned in this time is that I want a “living will!” This means that I will decide now what will happen to me when I can no longer make decisions about my health care.
When Dad had his stroke he was totally incapacitated. He could not talk, could not follow instructions, and could not swallow food or drink. The doctors explained that he had had a stroke. He had a bleed or clot that was 1 inch by 4 inches. His chances for recovery were very, very unlikely.
The only chance was to wait for weeks or months and hope that the clot would be absorbed by the body. Until then he would need a feeding tube and an IV. They would do therapy to keep his one good side moving though he could not move it himself.
In 1998 Dad had filled out a living will. In that will he stated that he did not want to be hooked to machines. He did not want to have his life artificially preserved.
This will helped us a great deal. We knew what he wanted. It was very obvious that Dad could not survive. The doctors wanted to hook him to machines and put him in a nursing home hoping that he would some day recover.
Dad is 80 years old. He has been suffering from Alzheimer’s for several years. They could offer no hope for improvement or life even after hooking him up with feeding tubes, etc.
The living will allows me to make decisions now just like my dad did. It allows me to take the pressure off of my wife and children when that moment comes. No matter what it will still be tough but I can do something to relieve them.
We came back to Tennessee on Saturday night. We had received a call telling us that Dad would die within the next 5 or 6 hours. We had just driven about 5 or 6 from Harriman, Tennessee to Cumming with 6 small children.
We got back in the same van and headed back to Tennessee arriving at about 1 am. I then sat up all night watching Dad. He had developed the death rattle. It was horrible to listen to.
We have been sitting here now since last Sunday evening at 6 pm except for our brief run to Cumming. I missed preaching at Vision four times now.
Dad is dying but has not started what they called active dying yet. I will put a post or two about several things that I have learned from this time that I think could help each of you.
I do not know what will happen but I do know that I will do all in my power to be back at Vision this week.
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